Navigating Screen Time With Kids
By: Meghan
I recently read (listened) to The Anxious Generation, by Jonathan Haidt and it has not only reinforced beliefs I already had about screen time but helped me double down on rules I was soft on regarding screens, playtime and childhood responsibilities. I was so profoundly impacted by this book that I have set up a professional development for teachers and principals in my school district to do a book study on The Anxious Generation over the summer.
This book discusses topics that most parents are aware of but provides data and evidence to reinforce what we know we should be doing for our children. We will be discussing anxiety, screen time and social media in an episode in season two, but I’m going to give a quick rundown of how we’ve changed up using screens in our house.
The very first thing is don’t be afraid to change your mind. We used to let the boys have free use of YouTube kids and often allowed an hour or more on the tablets on the weekend. (Mom and dad are tired – okay!)
We totally reversed our thoughts on this – No YouTube kids, unless our oldest is looking at an art tutorial and he’s with us in the same room
They have a one-hour time limit per day on the weekends (sometimes we fudge this if it’s raining outside, and we have no scheduled activities)
No tablets AT ALL during the week. No exceptions.
We swapped the iPads (which belong to my husband and myself) for Amazon Fire Tablets which they each got for Christmas this past year
Web Browsing is completely locked on the tablets, and we must approve all the additional content they want to download via the associated parent app
No TV during the week in the evenings.
We do allow some cartoons in the morning, after they have eaten, dressed for school and done their morning exercise (bouncing on the trampoline, kids’ yoga, whatever they want for 15 minutes to get their brains awake). The boys don’t start school until 9 am, my husband works from home, and I must be in the office by 7:30 am, so they need to be entertained so he can work.
How has this worked for us? Really well! We started by explaining the new rules and discussing the changes over the weekend. We told them it would be healthier for their brains and bodies. (Keep in mind they are 5 and 7, so they can be reasoned with). We implemented these new rules on a Monday, at the natural start of a new week.
During the week, it’s really easy to not turn on screens when they have after school activities. On days we don’t have anything scheduled, they have free play in the backyard or their bedroom until I am ready to fully engage with them. Sometimes I just need time to change, then we all walk to the playground together. Other days, I do yoga or workout on my own, then I spend time with them playing board games or card games. Additionally, my husband will play ball with them outside somedays, once he is done work, so it doesn’t always fall on me to entertain them.
We are all learning chess together; they love Battleship and the Godzilla-themed Monopoly my oldest recently got for his birthday, and we’ve started adding card games into the rotation. We play games that I also want to play, otherwise, this arrangement wouldn’t be sustainable. They now ask to play certain games instead of asking to watch TV.
On the weekends they will still ask when they can get on their tablets, and it’s rare that they forget, but they have a list of things they have to do, before getting them out.
How has it changed our house/kids’ behavior?
There is less fighting between the boys. They used to fight over who gets to pick the next show. Now they are problem solving or figuring out a compromise over which games to play or whether they want to play outside or inside. There are many days they play independently from one another and that’s a great thing too!
They go to sleep easier and faster. Most adults know how blue light effects our sleep. This is true for kids too.
The tablet time is truly a reward and not something that is expected. Which means we can also take away tablet time, as a consequence, if needed.
They are learning to be more independent.
In general, they are less grumpy and there have been fewer emotional meltdowns.
The changes in our home have been significant, and we did not miss it after the first week. Like all parenting, it was more work on the front end, but it has paid off big time.
Have any of you implemented screen restrictions or had to reverse decisions on screen time/content, and how did that work out for your family?
